Petroglyphs at Horseshoe Canyon,
Canyonlands National Park, Utah,
Photographer Unknown
Shadows months earlier
At Hell’s Canyon on the Idaho border
He talked about dying,
About having come close, seeing figures
“They’re closer than we think,” he said.
The flames threw up shadows
On the walls where he stood marking
His own death. Months on he was laid
Out on a narrow bed in white linens,
The window open to one bird on a limb.
“The shadows won’t let you sleep,” he said.
“Nephrotic syndrome related to malaria”
Is what he said. “Contracted in ‘Nam.”
He dreamt of the Horse Heaven Hills, riding
His Harley, helmet off, right leg secured with pins,
And elevated blood pressure
And a damaged heart.
“My mother, always my mother” he said,
A wry look. “This is not a book,” he laughed.
The wind threw up shadows months earlier
In the canyon, near the trail with the bear scat,
Where it clawed the tree. “Always my mother
Saying ‘Don’t go, son.’” You know it don’t matter
Now. I’m going to die. That’s the end of it. All
I can say is she went first. I got friends here
With me in the Canyon. We rode our bikes here.
We got beer. Let’s be happy.
____________
Zeke Sanchez